The PATH Foundation

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April 2008

HYPNOSIS - HYPNOTHERAPY
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Successful Hypnosis for Children

We tend to notice themes for what happens with us and clients each month. The theme that has been presenting itself this month is: what makes people successful or not successful in life. Some very poignant presentations of reasons have been making themselves known to us in a very visible manner. Also, we have learned over the years of working with others that it helps for “helping professionals” to get some feedback.

With us, when we are feeling depleted of the amount of feedback we need to satiate that button that all helping professionals have built into their psyche, God always provides.

One of the angelic messengers this month came through the physical body of a very bright seven year old. He has one of the components that we have found assists with success programming: a loving, caring support system. His support system cares enough to drive quite a distance and support him in assisting with decision- making . This young man is intelligent and personable. However, at his young age, he had developed an eating habit that would make him stand out negatively with his peers. His grandmother read the children’s hypnosis section of our website and wondered if his desire for only certain foods could be broadened through positive hypnosis work with the subconscious. She called and talked with Dr. Ed Martin, made an appointment, and she, her daughter who is the child’s Mother, and her seven year old grandson came for him to experience hypnosis. In the room for his session of hypnosis were all of them and Dr. Martin.

After the session, Dr. Martin received an email saying that the young man was not showing signs of reaching out to other foods. The email came the second day after the session. What was suggested to the family was:

1. To not observe him in a “watching the pot to boil” scenario.

2. That we have observed that children often times have an integration process and will sometimes have a delayed reaction to the positive suggestions.

We suggested that they back off the observing and questioning of the young man and have what is sometimes hard for all of us: "a little bit of patience".

We also suggested that they know some things that are a requirement of the hypnosis:

1. The goal has to be something that is truly wanted by the child. (This holds true for adults also).

We re-iterated that it is a myth that people can be made to do what they do not want to do through subconscious work. We did stress that if this child who has all the markings of already being bright and successful in his classroom has this as his goal then the likelihood of his accepting the suggestions were very high.

2. We wrote in email form about secondary gains and how important it is, that it not become more of a receiving strokes for non-conforming behavior than receiving strokes for conforming behavior. We explained in detail about negative strokes also being powerful if the child, or person, does not receive positive strokes. People will go for attention in any way they can get it with positive stroking feeling better, but negative strokes also affirm that they are part of the system.

We did this in order to help the family have the patience needed in order to see what Earl Nightingale calls “the end of the story.”

We also suggested that one way to determine if the child wanted this as his goal was to let him decide whether to return for his follow-up session or not. Another suggestion was that perhaps on the second session, one of the adults might stay in the waiting room. Also, if he returned, he might decide who the adult was that he wanted with him along with Dr. Martin during the session.

He was already booked for a follow-up appointment. We suggested letting most of the week go by without commenting on behavior or food. Close to time for the appointment, bring up whether he felt this was a goal he wanted to pursue. If they did not call, the appointment slot would be kept on the appointment book. If they called to cancel, then that time slot would be filled with someone else.

Also, we emailed to them the true story of two other child clients. They came with their mother for enuresis (bedwetting). The older child was very resentful of his father and got lots of attention from his father because of his bedwetting. The father was critical, punishing, and harsh about this problem. This child met him head on and provided lots of annoying behavior for the father to criticize.

The younger son had another goal that he mentioned at the time of the session. He had never been for a sleep over at a friend’s house or had a friend over because of the bedwetting problem. He truly wanted to go to a sleepover and was focused on “when I no longer am a bedwetter.”

You may have guessed about what happened. The children’s father was not motivated to support the children by coming to the session. Their Mother brought them. He even verbalized that they probably would fail and it was a waste of time. Obviously, he was a negative thinker and talker. However, when he talked he did it with a loud voice (according to the mother). His oldest son identified subconsciously with him even though he outwardly resented him. The oldest son sought out the negative attention of the father. He did not stop bedwetting.

The youngest son had another goal. He wanted to successfully be with his peers. He also identified with the loving support of his Mother. He stopped in the first session of hypnosis and has never wet the bed again, ever.

We told this story to the seven year old’s family for two reasons:

To show how negative stroking can actually reinforce behavior that is not wanted.

And, to let them know that the goal needed to be the choice of the child. The follow up session of the child who stopped bedwetting in the first session was spent working on improving his soccer game.

Dr. Martin really felt a commitment to the seven year old who came to begin eating a more broad-range of food. He wondered several times if the child would choose to come back.

On the day of the session, there had been no call to cancel. However, remember they drove a long way to get to the appointment. At the time of the next session, they were not there. About the time that Dr. Martin was beginning to feel sad that the child had not returned, they drove up. They had had a problem in traffic and ran a little late.

The Child had made the decision which we believe is pivotal to success:

1. Don’t ever give up.

2. Show Up.

3. If obstacles show up to stop you, get around them and move forward!

The story gets even better:

It turns out that with the scrutiny and questions stopped, the child tested his boundaries. He asked, “will I be in trouble if I don’t eat other things?” He was told that he would not be in trouble. He was also told the effort was made because he was loved. He was told perhaps his peers did not see a problem with his only eating a few things now, but one day they would probably in teenage years and the family was just trying to save him from having negative peer scrutiny. They also stressed the idea of fruit being very healthy for him and his body.

What did he do? He ate his first orange ever and LIKED IT!

Also, it turns out Dr. Martin had forgotten to tell all the story to me. Because the child was very bright and was a leader in his classroom, Dr. Martin worked on a second component in the first session. The child was in a little league baseball group. The coach wanted him to pitch throwing overhand rather than sidearm. This had become something of an issue , and if it had gone on longer could have effected his self-esteem. They had also worked in the hypnosis session on his being able to throw overhand.

Between his first session and the follow-up, he had been throwing overhand successfully! He even said it was easy. This had helped convince the child he needed to accept the positive suggestions and come for a follow up session. He had been allowed by the adults in the family to make the decision and all of them made the effort to get to the second appointment.

The child also made the decision about the room for the second appointment. He chose his Mother and his grandmother was willing to let her child and her grandchild be in the session with Dr. Martin.

For Dr. Martin, it was a joy to be of positive assistance to this child at a point he could make positive changes without negativity becoming involved. With the oldest boy who didn’t stop bedwetting because of the need for negative strokes, it was known when he reached teenage years, his peers would shame him into becoming motivated to make stopping bedwetting his goal. Michael Landon before his death told of one of the horrors of his life being the humiliation of bedwetting and his peers shaming him.

The seven year old who came to eat healthier and to learn to throw overhand without harming his pitching arm, will not have to experience criticism over food habits or criticism by his coach. This will help his self esteem and his ability to go for positive strokes which equal success behavior.

The day after we wrote an email to the grandmother in response to her questions after the session, I was thinking about something that will require effort. A long time ago, I had an epiphany while driving and listening to the radio. It was when Kenny Rogers' song for his movie, The Gambler, was popular. When I heard the words, "You've got to know when to hold em...."know when to fold em".... "know when to walk away...." and "when to run"..."you never count your money when your sitting at the table..".... "there'll be time enough for counting when the dealing's done."...I knew it was important to a question at the time. It was so important I pulled off the road to process what I had heard as a message.

Teamwork for Success

On this date after the child had come, I was thinking about the effort, money, time, and emotion that would be involved in a future endeavor with ambivalence about how the investment of time and emotion would harvest. My mind was totally engrossed in this when I went into a restroom at a facility. Right beside the restroom is a religious organization and they provide a basket of reading material for the bathroom.

When I looked to the floor these words leaped at me: "never ever give up!" I reached down to read the words which I have quoted to many as words Winston Churchill spoke often in England when the world was telling him he was crazy to think he could defeat the German army. The world's advice was for Winston Churchill and all of England was to start studying German because they were going to be Germans when Hitler got through with them.

These words had stood out because they were the only words on the top of the page. I turned back to read the story connected to them in this religious periodical and there was another story that I used to write a children's script about being brave and courageous in times of challenge as the story that lead to the place where the last person had stopped reading: Never, ever... Give Up!

That story was about two frogs who decide to venture away from their home to explore the world. They wind up at a dairy farm where they decide to explore the bucket of milk. Both fall inside the large bucket. The sides were slippery and they couldn't climb out of the mess in which they now found themselves . One frog looked to the future and contemplated what the future held. With negative words of: "Why even try, he sank to the bottom of the milk and drowned."

The other frog did not know a thing about milk and about cream in the milk... and nothing about butter. He did have a courageous spirit and thought "I need to buy myself some time for good favor to come my way."

With this thought he kept treading the milk and kicking hard. When he would get tired, he would roll on his back and float to regain himself. When he got his strength, he would kick like crazy reciting positive words the entire time. As he was kicking, he would say: "God will help me soon". "I am saved, I know it." "A solution is mine." Also, as he kicked, he learned his lesson about how he had gotten into this situation by going over the things that lead to his blindly getting into this fix.

He found the miracle.

As he kicked, the milk churned and became butter. He rose higher and higher. He started noticing a change in his world as his scenery got closer to the top. Eventually, he jumped out and kissed the ground in joy exclaiming his miracle.

You're probably wondering how I made a children's story out of a sad ending for one of the frogs. I changed it a little and made it a teamwork story. In my story the two frogs joined hands and kicked together. Both kicking hard... when one became tired.... that frog floated with the other one still kicking and carrying on for the two of them... then that frog would float and the other would kick for the two of them... when they both felt like it... they would again join hands and kick as a team... and both of them got out of the problem through joint effort (teamwork).

That day in the bathroom I knew that God was speaking to me giving me an answer to my question. He chose to use information from two sources I had used to help others in the past. God was reminding me to remember this information and START KICKING.

Please go to the children’s hypnosis session of our website and read how we work with children for success in life.

Right after him, a client who had completed the two sessions of releasing of causes for weight and had worked with in-home sessions of weight loss hypnosis CD's came back for a jumpstart session. It had been eight weeks since the first session. This client had lost 19 lbs in 8 weeks and was wanting some one-on-one positive suggestion hypnosis to jumpstart the second 20 lbs!

In last month’s monthly update, we showed a small picture of a woman with hummingbirds on her hands. In the particular picture, the red bowl they were drinking from couldn’t be seen. We had email after email, saying they don’t accept attachments, but these people wanted to see the pictures without attachment. With our busy schedules, neither of us put the attachment in a format that could be sent without it being an attachment.

Then, another component of successful living happened:

A good friend who knew nothing about our needing the pictures in another format, sent them in the format needed for mailing to others without their being an attachment. Maggie Snyder sent the email to us in perfect formatting for those who wanted to read the story and see up close.

This is another component of success:

choose and nurture the right relationships. The Bible says “by their fruits ye shall know them.” Those who are your true friends and truly positive relationship members will show you who they are by their actions, not so much by their words.

Actions require effort and commitment with follow through. Words can be easily said without action. Therefore, for success in life, positively stroke your good relationships whether business or pleasure. Those that require negative energy and negative effort, cull them out of your life. They are much too expensive in terms of life energy and life on Earth is time- limited.

We strongly believe that working with the subconscious is a magnificent experience connected directly to the Divine. God sent a seven year old angelic messenger this month to provide the nectar that all helping professionals need to re-boot the wonderment of subconscious work. This work is a lot like experiencing a group of beautiful hummingbirds coming for the life giving nectar. The email pictures that you can view on our website links in this update give another hint to successful behavior:

Good teamwork, without one feeling more important than the other, also helps success:

This woman could have experienced this experience and enjoyed it for herself only. However, we can experience things vicariously through others. By her husband thinking to take the picture, he helped her share her experience. His teamwork with her, with his never being seen or in the limelight, provided a way for others to experience with his wife the visitation of hummingbirds. His effort is just as important, without being in the picture, as his wife and the hummingbirds. It was a successful team effort. His wife was gracious also because she said it all happened very spontaneously. She had a thought and followed through. She probably didn't actually believe it would work because she forgot to put on makeup (these are her words). (Ha) She still allowed the pictures to be sent to others in order for them to vicariously experience a miraculous experience

If you want to experience sessions of hypnosis in house or through in-home healing sessions, email at email@path-found.com or call 877-422-PATH.

Spring is truly here. Hope you are living a wonder-filled life.

Cheryl Martin

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